Pining for a wand

So, instead of having to go back to that ship filled with Ghosts and Droids and whatnot, Boss decided I should go visit this "Enormous Greater Than Sign". I was attacked by all types of ASCII characters. I was supposed to look for some new kind of wand or something, and should just go there and not come back without one.

All I got was a severe case of "Teleportitis", making me go places I'd rather not. I know a dozen funny limericks by heart, now...but no wand.