All Good Things...

You haven't heard from me for a while, because I was soooo busy with my own stuff. Jumping into that gash made me reincarnate. I don't kid. There I thought I had freedom. I was just doing my own thing you know, adventuring here, adventuring there. All to *my* liking, when suddenly two gifts appear in the mail.

Hey, stat boosting accessories, whadda-ya-know, cool! Little did I know at that time, that ditching my beer goggles and stuffed shoulder parrot would mean the start of my re-enslavement. In this life, just as in the previous, the master was there, pulling his strings.

So, there I went, clobbering my way through the weird 8-bit realm. And being sent to the crackpot to have him make this weird accessory. "Monster Bait". That sounds scary, doesn't it. What's even more scary was when the bossman said:"Neat, now you can go and thoroughly test this."

Sigh!

Adventuring on my own!

So, I was just running around the Kingdom, doing this and that odd job, when I suddenly run into this massive tower-like building.

First I had to pass some doors. I had been snacking a bit on various potions and felt a bit weird, so when I got through them, I thought I'd take a nap. When I undressed in front of this mirror, it cracked. Kinda scary. Behind it was a cavern. I fiddled a bit with stuff there and these statues started moving! That opened another door to a hedge maze. Some tough motherfuckers tried to scratch me in there. I took care of them though and found this key. I got hopelessly lost, but at the end was the entrance to the tower, to which I, luckily, had just found the key!

A bunch of monsters inhabited every level of the tower, but they were quite easily dispatched or distracted. At the top, some dudes were riddling me with a code. Screw them! I just typed in a few of the numbers I had picked up from their conversation and that worked as access code to this door.

This woman started cackling at me and my own shadow attacked me. That hurts! I started healing myself and he just kind of stopped. The woman unleashed her pets on me and I retreated. Being a turtle tamer, I knew where to go! The arena. I trained up my own pets to strength to defeat hers. We were standing eye to eye.

Helped by my droid, it wasn't even a fair fight. He beat her up good, while I just added to the carnage. Then she turns into this creepy floating tentacle monster. Ew! Which I consequently beat up. Then she turns into a sausage, weird. Killed that one too.

There was this King imprisoned there, so I freed him. My boss will be proud, but unhappy. The council and the King say that if I jump through the gash, I will be free from my master. Sounds good. Let's try that!

Kilts?!

Boss made me go out and work today. I was having some goofball withdrawal symptoms, so he first sent me to clean out the Knob Goblin Treasury. He started babbling about this meatbug again. Strange.

Then he had me go past the mall and buy furs and skins of all kinds. After that, he sent me to the meatsmith and he had a new kit. I've been hammering out kilts of all types and sizes all day! I feel like I live in a sweatshop...even though they're kinda neat.